


Shut Up and Dance With Me

by dearzoemurphy



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, F/F, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mostly Fluff, Post canon, but I promise the gays will be happy in the end, death mentions, prom au, with a fair bit of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-03-06 17:45:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13416363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearzoemurphy/pseuds/dearzoemurphy
Summary: Veronica tried to decide who lived and who died. It didn't end well. But that's all in the past, and now she has nothing to worry about but having the best night ever at Westerburg High's prom.Well, that's not entirely true. There is her crippling guilt complex. And the ever-present ghost of Heather Chandler. And not crying her makeup off in the first five minutes of the dance. So yeah. She actually has a lot to worry about.Post-canon, canon compliant, Heather and Veronica are already together at the start of the fic.





	1. I'm Too Damaged

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to SoinaHayMcgrath who inspired me to write this with her feedback on my last McNamawyer fic!!
> 
> And yes, hopefully I'll continue to stay inspired to update this and actually complete it, unlike my last attempt at a multi-chapter fic...

“Ronnie! Can I come in yet?” Heather called, knocking gently on Veronica’s bathroom door.

Veronica looked up frantically, glancing between the door and her shaking hand attempting to apply mascara in the mirror. “Just… just a minute,” she stammered.

“Are you naked?” Heather asked pointedly.

Veronica’s jaw dropped, cheeks flushing. “Um, no. Why do you ask?” she replied.

“Because…” Heather started, then swung the door open, “I'm coming in if you're not,” she finished, closing the door triumphantly, but her face falling when she looked to her girlfriend.

“I can explain…” Veronica started, but was cut off by Heather.

“Oh no Ronnie, what's wrong?! What happened?” she exclaimed, rushing over to cradle Veronica’s face upon seeing the mascara lines streaking down it.

“It's nothing, don't worry about it. I'll clean myself up and reapply and I'll be ready to go. You look beautiful, by the way,” Veronica explained, patting Heather’s hands.

Heather beamed, moving her hands to smooth the layered skirt of her bright yellow taffeta dress. “Aww, thanks babe! But, that's not a sufficient explanation. Please, you gotta tell me more so I can help,” she said, pouting slightly and blinking rapidly.

Veronica sighed. “Why’d you have to give me the puppy face? You know I can't resist the puppy face,” she said, upset.

“That's why I use it,” Heather said, smirking and crossing her arms.

“Fine. I’ve just been feeling so…guilty. Guilty about every part of this, from buying the tickets to picking out a dress…each step it gets heavier and worse and then I was here, putting on my makeup, and it was finally real,” Veronica added, a deep sorrow in her voice as she slid down to the ground against her bathroom cabinet.

“Why are you feeling guilty?” Heather asked, tilting her head and joining Veronica in sitting on the ground.

Her girlfriend scoffed. “Are you really gonna make me say it?” she asked in return, raising an eyebrow.

Heather gave a sad smile. “Yeah. I know exactly what you mean, but I want to know why, specifically,” she said, moving over to be next to Veronica and placing a hand on her shoulder.

The raven haired girl shivered slightly at the blonde’s cold hand on her bare shoulder. She began to feel that she might regret the strapless navy dress later in the night. “Why am I still here? Why do I get to be here, getting ready for prom tonight, and going to have a wonderful time with my beautiful girlfriend, when Chandler will never get that chance? When Kurt and Ram will never have that chance, when JD will never have that chance. I tried to choose who lived and died. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve nice things,” Veronica trailed off, words punctuated by silent sobs that wracked her entire body, tears continuing to stream down her face.

Heather gasped, throwing her arms around Veronica’s shoulders. “Oh Ronnie… Ronnie, Ronnie…I promise, there's a reason that you're still here. You deserve this. Chandler…Chandler didn't deserve what she got, but it was an accident that wasn't your fault. Kurt and Ram probably deserved it more, but it was still an accident. JD tricked you. And…what he did was his choice. It's not on you at all. You don't need to be guilty about any of it,” she said, occasionally stopping to think, scrambling for words.

Veronica turned to Heather, a mascara tear rolling off her chin and dropping onto the tile. “But I can feel guilty about it. I could have stopped it all. I could have saved them all,” she said quietly.

Heather stroked her girlfriend’s cheek, wiping her tear stains away. “You didn't know. You had no idea what was going to happen. The only way you could prevent it all is by going back in time, and that's okay that you can't. It's tough to live with. It's still tough for people like me, I miss Heather. I'll miss her forever, probably. But I don't blame you at all. And the best way to honor them all is to keep living to the best of our abilities. If we stop living to only grieve, it means we've given up, and giving up means we're disappointing the people we love and have lost,” she said, soothing Veronica and moving to pull her head onto her shoulder and stroking her hair.

“How do you always know exactly what to say?” Veronica asked tearfully, but with a hint of humor in her voice.

“I don't know. I just speak from the heart. It backfires sometimes, but usually it helps,” she said thoughtfully.

“What did I do to deserve you? I'm too damaged for you,” Veronica mused, somewhat to herself.

Heather stopped stroking Veronica’s hair and gave her a lingering kiss on the forehead. “The real question is what did I do to deserve you? So by us both asking that question, we officially deserve each other,” she answered triumphantly.

Veronica cracked a smile as her stream of tears began to slow. “Alright. We can leave this conversation at that for now. I guess I should get myself together so we can actually get to the prom. For Chandler,” she said, starting to sit up.

“No. For us. We have to keep living for her and the others, so that means we do things for ourselves,” Heather said pointedly, grabbing Veronica's wrist.

She sighed and shook her head. “I guess so. I still won't not feel guilty no matter what. But I'm gonna try for you,” she said, smiling sweetly and placing her free hand on Heather’s.

“And for yourself, too,” Heather said, narrowing her eyes.

“And for myself,” Veronica conceded.

Heather smiled satisfactorily, then leaned in to give Veronica a quick kiss on the cheek. “Okay. I'll leave you alone for seven minutes and if you're not downstairs by then, I'm coming back in, okay?” she stated.

Veronica chuckled slightly. “How generous. But okay,” she agreed.

Heather nodded then shot up, quickly holding a hand out to help Veronica up. The dark haired girl gladly took it, but before she could gain her balance, Heather grabbed her other hand and pulled her in for a swift kiss, then turned and left a flustered and disheveled Veronica behind.

Veronica shook her head and returned to her sink, taking out a makeup wipe and dabbing at what remained of her mascara-stained tear tracks when a familiar face appeared next to her.

“You know, you have a lot to feel guilty about, but killing Kurt and Ram shouldn't be two of those things,” Heather Chandler’s ghost said, sitting cross legged on the bathroom counter, casually filing her nails.

Veronica jumped at the voice, then tried to calm herself upon realizing who was there. “Long time, no see,” she said simply, trying to hide how shooken up she was.

Chandler laughed, a piercing laugh that rung throughout the entire bathroom for an unnatural amount of time. “Oh please, don't even try to hide anything from me, your hands are shaking as much as a hamster in a daycare about to be picked up by an irresponsible child,” she said, inspecting a nail.

“Look, let's just get to the point, what do you want?” Veronica asked, tired.

“Whoa, it's almost like you just want to get rid of me! I just wanted to tell you that Mac is right. And if you hurt her, I will find a million ways to hurt you,” Chandler responded, flicking away a nail filing.

“I think that's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me,” Veronica said, slightly stunned.

“What, that I'm gonna hurt you if you hurt the only friend I had my whole life?” Chandler retorted.

Veronica winced. “No, that Heather’s right. That it's not my fault. It's almost like forgiveness,” she said, throwing away her makeup wipe and beginning to reapply her mascara.

Chandler scoffed. “Jesus, don't read that far into it. But I don't want your life to be over just because you accidentally ended mine. And Ram’s I guess. Stop being so fucking melodramatic and just go make out with Heather on the dance floor,” she said, slightly angrily.

Veronica smiled and capped her mascara. “That's more like the Heather I know and love,” she said, looking herself over in the mirror and adjusting her deep blue dress.

“Aww, you love me?” Chandler asked with mock surprise, putting a hand to her heart.

“Yeah. I do. Despite everything you've done to terrorize me, I think I deserve it. And I actually don't mind knowing you're always around,” Veronica said, giving a genuine smile to the shimmering ghost girl.

“I'm not always watching you, way to kill the moment by being self-centered,” Chandler said, rolling her eyes.

Veronica shrugged. “Alright, fair enough. But really though, thanks for not doing more to hurt me. And kinda forgiving me,” she said.

“Don't mention it, babe. Take care of Heather for me. And don't forget to have fun,” Chandler said, floating from the counter over to Veronica. She then took the dark haired girl’s head in her hands and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, and disappeared. Veronica shivered, a cold shock coursing through her veins from the unexpected kiss. She shook her head to rid herself of the feeling, then smiled to herself in the mirror, and took a deep breath and pushed out of her bathroom to meet Heather downstairs.

 


	2. I Don't Deserve Anything Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did Veronica have to have parents who were photography buffs?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know we're not to the prom yet, and I apologize for the wait!! Actual prom is coming soon, I promise.

“Wait, just one more picture! On the stairs leading up to the patio!” Veronica’s mom said excitedly.

“Yes, that would be perfect!” her dad said, nodding enthusiastically.

Veronica rolled her eyes. “Ugh, haven't we taken enough?! We should really get going…” she said, glancing at her thin silver watch.

Heather giggled. “It's fine, lets just humor them for a sec,” she said quietly to her girlfriend, leaning in a give her a peck on the cheek.

Veronica blushed, glancing between her golden haired girlfriend and her parents, who were beaming towards their daughter and her partner. Heather ended the awkward moment by grabbing Veronica’s hand and hastily leading her down to the stairs where her girlfriend’s parents wanted to take more pictures of the couple. They followed the teens and worked quickly, Veronica’s dad setting up the tripod while her mom posed the teens. Her mom sped behind the camera with Veronica’s father as soon as Heather’s arm was resting on Veronica’s shoulder from a step above, and both were smiling radiantly.

“Alright, say cheese!” her dad said, clicking the button on top of the camera, taking multiple shots.

“Great, is that enough? Can we go now?” Veronica asked through gritted teeth, still forcing a picture-perfect smile.

“Yes, these are perfect! Just perfect,” her father responded.

Veronica breathed a sigh of relief, squeezed Heather’s hand, and ran over to say goodbye to her parents. They pulled her into a group embrace, Veronica’s mom rubbing her shoulder. Heather beamed towards them, but her smile had a melancholy quality to it. Veronica’s dad looked up, saw the sad yellow girl, and beckoned for her to join the hug. She gladly obliged and ran over as fast as she could in her six inch heels, blonde curls bouncing behind her. Veronica shot up when Heather threw her arms around her from behind, but quickly relaxed upon realizing what was happening. She flashed a slightly pained smile at her girlfriend, clearly wanting to escape her current situation. Heather giggled and squeezed harder, reaching around to place her hands on Veronica’s parents’ shoulders.

“I hope you two have the best night ever, okay? I don't want to hear anything less,” Veronica’s mom said quietly, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.

“Okay!” Mac replied cheerily, grinning.

“We’ll try,” Veronica said, slightly sardonically.

The group broke the embrace, and Veronica’s dad playfully nudged his daughter’s shoulder.

“You're going to go and you're going to have the best night of your life, okay?” he said, phrasing the statement like a question, but with an extremely threatening expression.

Veronica simply nodded, laughing. “Alright. It shouldn't be that hard,” she said, smiling genuinely towards Heather, who grinned in return.

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go get our bags and get going already,” Heather said, giggling and tugging on Veronica's arm.

Veronica looked to both of her parents once more and waved. “Well, bye guys. Remember, we’re staying in the hotel with Martha and Betty afterwards, I'll give you a call when we get to there,” she said.

Her mom nodded. “Yes, of course I remember. Have fun with them, and everyone else,” she said, waving back at her daughter. Her dad simply gave the couple a salute.

Veronica began to walk up the patio steps but stopped halfway up, staring at the ground, then spun back around. “Oh, one more hug,” she said, an indistinguishable emotion masked in her voice as she ran back from the steps to the camera to embrace both of her parents once more. She held onto them for several moments, the two reaching up to return the hug.

“Thank you. For everything you've ever done for me,” she said tearfully, a single drop slipping down her cheek. As the three pulled away, Veronica’s mom gasped upon seeing the state of her daughter.

“Oh honey, what's wrong?!” she exclaimed, to which Heather came rushing over from her spot on the steps again.

“I…I don't know. I just know I love you all. So much. And I don't know what I'd do or where I'd be without you,” Veronica sputtered, looking around at her three loved ones.

Heather frowned slightly and took her girlfriend's hand. “Oh Ronnie, it's gonna be okay. We love you too. And we're gonna go have the best night ever, just like your parents said,” she said, squeezing Veronica’s hand.

Veronica’s mom nodded in agreement, while her dad continued to simply look confused. “Yes, absolutely. We love you. And we can't wait to hear about tonight,” she said, hugging her daughter and her daughter's girlfriend again.

Veronica's dad snapped out of his trace and nodded. “Yes. Yes, I love you. You're gonna be a-okay, buckaroo,” he said, clapping her on the shoulder as his wife released both of the girls.

“Thank you. I'm gonna be fine. Tonight's gonna be great,” Veronica said in reply, seeming to be reassuring herself as she took a deep breath and wiped away her tear tracks. She also gave silent thanks to whoever invented waterproof mascara.

“That’s the spirit!” her father said.

“It is going to be great,” her mother added, smiling and clasping her hands together.

Veronica and Heather smiled to the brunette’s parents. “Well, bye for real now I guess,” Veronica said, giving a joke salute, which both of her parents lightheartedly returned.

“See you tomorrow!” Heather added cheerfully, waving to Veronica's parents as they opened the door on the patio and crossed the threshold to collect their bags. She turned to say something Veronica, but stopped upon seeing her girlfriend's pained expression.

“Hey babe, what's wrong?” she asked, concerned.

Veronica gazed off past Heather’s shoulder, then quickly snapped her attention back to her girlfriend. “What? Oh, nothing. Let's go get our bags,” she said, smiling.

Heather looked uncertain, but nodded and smiled in return. “Okay! We're taking your car, right?” she asked.

Veronica nodded, and Heather grinned and skipped off to collect her overnight bag.

Veronica didn't tell Heather what she saw. What had made her run crying back to her parents. She saw Chandler again for the second time that day, trying to hide herself spying on her. Veronica was amused when she saw the ghost girl behind the camera, smiling sweetly at her and Mac. But she also saw the same girl minutes later, sobbing and coughing up Drain-O beside her backyard oak tree, trying and failing to hide from her murderer. That was the final straw for Veronica. The cherry on top of her so far horrible day. She didn't know how much longer she'd be able to bear the guilt of knowing what she'd done. How much Heather cared about her to try and hide her anguish. She'd almost been successful in going to prom and having a good time without being plagued by her past mistakes. But she didn't deserve anything good anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I know it's a short update, but more meaty stuff will be coming very, very soon!! Leave any comments or criticism down below <3


	3. But You're Not Beyond Repair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time, no update but!! Here it is now and honestly, one will probably be coming tomorrow so please forgive me~

The car ride to Westerburg was almost eerily silent. Heather tried to start up conversation several times, but Veronica responded to each attempt with a nod or a few simple words. The blonde eventually gave up on interaction and turned the radio up as they flew down the highway in Veronica’s sedan. She glanced over at her girlfriend occasionally out of concern, noting her gripping the wheel so tightly that her knuckles were white and biting her lip every once in a while.

They reached the high school fifteen minutes later, taking in the sight of the overflowing parking lot and their dapper classmates streaming towards the well-illuminated school. Veronica grimace upon seeing the cars parked along the traffic circle in front of the school and beyond, then decided simply to pull off on the side of the road where they were, behind a growing string of yet more vehicles.

“Alright, here we are,” Veronica said, throwing her car into park and smiling, “you ready?” she asked.

“Um, yeah,” Heather said, accidentally sounding more unsure than she meant to.

Veronica tilted her head, confused. “What's up, babe?” she pressed.

Heather took a deep breath. “Is everything really okay with you? If you're still not recovered from earlier, just tell me! We don't have to go in if you don't want to,” she said, words tumbling out quicker than she could process them.

“Oh, Heather, I'm fine, okay? Don't worry about me. I'll worry about dealing with everything after tonight. Promise,” Veronica said, holding up her pinkie finger for a pinkie promise.

Heather gave a small smile and looped her pinkie around Veronica’s. “Alright. I promise not to worry about you for the rest of tonight. But I also promise to help you afterwards, anything you need. I know you've been trying to hide it all from me but remember, I've been through a lot of this. I'm still sorting through the issues I've had since before everything happened. We can do this together,” she said, moving her other hand to tuck a stray lock of Veronica’s hair behind her ear.

The brunette practically launched herself over the console and embraced her girlfriend tightly, fighting back tears. “I know you're fighting your own battles, so I never wanted to bother you with mine,” she said, close to a whisper.

Heather’s eyes widened, shocked. “Oh, Ronnie, you never have to worry about that! That's what I'm here for. We're stronger together,” she said, beginning to choke on her own held-back tears.

Veronica pulled away slightly from the embrace and planted a sweet kiss on the blonde’s forehead. Her girlfriend giggled slightly in return, then threw her arms around the brunette’s neck and mashed her lips against the other girl’s. Veronica was slightly surprised, but quickly reciprocated the kiss. Heather broke it off and lowered her eyelids, about to go back in for more, but was interrupted by a knock at the window.

The blonde and brunette jolted upwards, Veronica spinning around towards the direction of the sound. She relaxed and let out a sigh of relief upon seeing their friends, Martha Dunstock and Betty Finn. Veronica quickly scrambled back over to her seat and lowered the window.

“Hey! What's up?” she asked, trying to be casual and check her lipstick in the rear view mirror.

Martha laughed. “You guys are too much, you couldn't even wait until you were in the dance, huh?” she asked, jokingly.

Veronica turned bright red. “Heh, I guess so…” she said, scratching the back of her neck.

Heather grinned. “She started it,” she said simply before swinging open her car door and dashing out into the grass beside them.

Betty and Martha laughed as Veronica turned even redder as she followed suit and stumbled out of her car to join her friends. “Technically, I just kissed her on the forehead. She REALLY started it,” she grumbled, slamming the door and swinging her purse over her shoulder.

The four girls assembled by the driver’s side of the car, smiling and making small talk with each other, complimenting their dresses and makeup for several moments until Heather suddenly turned and began walking towards the school.

“Where are you going?” Veronica called after her, craning her neck to look past Betty to her girlfriend.

“The prom, genius! We can all talk inside,” she explained, holding out a hand for Veronica to take.

The dark haired girl blushed. “Oh yeah, right,” she said, a slight amount of apprehension seeping into her voice as she gave small smiles to her other two friends and lept over to take the blonde’s hand.

Martha and Betty grinned at their brunette friend, and followed her and her bouncy blonde girlfriend towards their shiny concrete prison, walking to the door and past the threshold willingly for the first time in their lives. Once inside, the four girls gaped in foyer at all of the gleaming, ornate decorations. The theme of their prom was Starry Night, and an unusual amount of dedication had been put into the themed decor. Swirling dark blue satin was tacked over the windows, fairy lights nestled among the curves and drape of the fabric. Strings of Christmas lights adorned the trophy cases and we're wrapped around support beams in the main hall. A wall-sized version of Van Gogh’s Starry Night had been created on sheets upon sheets of butcher paper taped up in the hallway leading to the gymnasium, where the prom was to take place, had been created by several of the more talented art students. Even the check-in table was covered in the same dark blue fabric as the windows and draped with lights.

McNamara let out a low whistle. “Wow, I don't think I've ever seen Westerburg put as much effort into anything other than this,” she muttered, to which Veronica giggled.

“Hello and good evening, can I see your tickets please?” the woman at the check-in table asked. The two girls nodded and handed them over wordlessly, after which they were punched and handed back.

“Enjoy your night!” she said as she returned the tickets.

“Thanks!” Heather responded simply as she looped her arm around her girlfriend’s and ran to catch up with their two other friends, who had gone to the other check-in area and got to the gym entrance faster.

“Come on! The party’s already started,” Betty urged as McNamara dragged Veronica to meet them. Heather stopped right in her tracks however the minute they saw the inside of the gym and let out a gasp.

“Omigosh it's so pretty,” she said simply, gazing in wonder. Veronica in turn gazed at the blonde girl staring in wide eyed wonder at all of the decorations. While Heather was admiring the decorations, Veronica admired her.

More of the same satin was draped over and through the rafters. A slightly cheesy disco ball spun from where it dangled on the ceiling. Strings of more lights were tacked to the wall all around the room. The mirrored ball caused bright spots of light to spin around the room. Lavish food and drink tables were set up in the left corner containing everything from chicken nuggets to a many tiered, rich-looking chocolate cake. The decorations were simple, yet effective, and an offset to the mass of teenage humanity dancing, gossiping, and acting like idiots in the center of the gym. It was so simple, so primal, so teenage that it was almost perfect.

Veronica was close to forgetting absolutely everything bothering her. Heather’s grip on her hand tightened.

“Come on, let’s go dance!” the girl in the yellow dress said, tugging gently. Martha and Betty had already been absorbed into the mass, and Veronica giggled as the pair dove in after them. For one blissful moment, as Heather laced her fingers in her girlfriend's and drew her closer by putting her arm around her waist, Veronica forgot everything.

It was glorious.

Until she saw Heather Chandler standing in the corner, somehow appearing in the lavish bright red gown she'd bought nine months before the prom.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for returning to read and sorry this is a bit of a cliffhanger, but like I said, I should have an update either tomorrow or early in the week!! Please leave any thoughts/criticism in the comments as always <3


	4. Or Maybe You're Damaged Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get real heavy real quick, warning for themes of suicide and mentions of death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sorry for the long wait and sorry for the angst that lies ahead, but I hope you enjoy all the same!!

“Ronnie, is everything alright?” Heather asked, worry lines crossing her face.

Veronica wasn't listening. She couldn't focus on anything else other than the blonde girl in the red dress, lingering around the punch bowl and taking in the sights of the decorated gymnasium. She began hyperventilating, mind spinning, vision spiraling, the world shrinking and growing and reeling.

“Why is she here?” the brunette croaked, barely above a whisper, “why can't she leave me alone?”

Heather tilted her head in confusion. “Who? Who isn't leaving you alone?” she asked.

Veronica let go of the blonde’s hands. “I'm sorry. I can't do this,” she said with a remorseful look, then bolted towards the gym door.

“Wait! Where are you going?” her girlfriend yelled after her, but it was too late. Veronica was already to the hallway, shoving past the stream of people feeding into the gym. She was running almost superhumanly fast, especially considering the fact of her four inch heels. She ran and ran and ran, past the classrooms, past the trophy cases, past the foyer until she reached the main doors and shoved her way out with so much force that she almost fell flat on her face when she hit the cool night air. The girl in the dark blue dress stumbled forward into the night, unsure of where she was going or why she was there. Why was she there? Why hadn't she just died yet?

Why couldn't she just die yet?

Veronica hit a peak of hysteria with that last thought. Why couldn't she die? She gave a sharp laugh at her own joke and stumbled forward a few more steps so she was no longer on the sidewalk.

“Maybe I could just die tonight,” she thought suddenly, snapping her head up to the stream of cars still entering the parking lot. All she had to do was make it to the main road. That's all she had to do. Make it somewhere where they were going fast. Fast enough to end her.

She was about to take more steps towards her final destination when she collapsed in a pile in the road. She couldn't make herself move. She just couldn't. Not a single muscle. And she was fine with that.

Until she saw the headlights approaching.

Veronica had never believed in the concept of a person’s life flashing before their eyes in the moments before they died. She did after that night.

It felt like hours, the seven seconds that passed while Veronica was staring like a deer in the headlights at the car yards in front of her. She’d never seen everything laid out so transparently. She saw a snapshot of her parents, tired but happy as they peered over the edge of her crib. She saw her childhood dog running recklessly around the house as she attempted to chase after it. She saw the doctor’s office the way it had been when she broke her leg and had to be restrained, kicking and screaming so they could put her cast on. She saw her first schoolyard crush, who ironically enough was named Heather, bashfully giving her a peck on the cheek after Veronica gave her a hand-picked bouquet. She saw the first time she baked with her mother and how proud she'd been of her slightly burnt chocolate chip cookies. She saw the first test she'd ever failed, she saw sleepovers filled with pillow fights and drooling over the Jonas Brothers with Betty and Martha, she saw her parents crying at her middle school graduation, she saw the first day of high school when her locker had jammed and someone in the lunchroom bumped into her and made her spill her tray, she saw the moment in sex ed when she learned about bisexuality and had a personal epiphany, she saw everyone she’d ever loved. She saw JD. God, she saw Jason Dean, handing her a mug of Drain-O, giving her a gun, shooting Kurt, strapping a bomb to himself. She saw Heather Chandler’s flawless face pinching up as she choked and convulsed until she fell lifeless to the ground. She saw the bullet she thought was fake lodge itself in Ram’s flesh. She saw the explosion that ended it all. But it didn't thought, did it? Everyone else changed, but Veronica remained stubbornly the same. Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe her life needed to end so everyone else’s could continue. But then Veronica saw the one thing keeping her tethered to this life. Heather McNamara. She saw her sparkling eyes and bright smile. She saw her laughing hysterically at some dumb joke Veronica made. She saw Heather planting light kisses on her collarbone. She saw her flicking her blonde curls out of her face. She saw her-

She saw her screaming and leaping towards her, desperately raising a hand to stop the car in front of them and using the other to shove Veronica across the road back to the sidewalk.

It was only that moment that caused Veronica to snap out of her haze and realize she wanted to live.

It was also that moment that Chandler showed herself again.

It was also that moment that the owners of the car came to a screeching halt and stormed out of their car, screaming at Heather, asking what the meaning of this was.

Veronica could barely focus again. She saw Chandler kneeling down next to her in a flurry of red taffeta and tulle.

“Hey, hey, Veronica. Veronica! Wake up, wake up, snap out of it. Snap the fuck out of it Ronica! You can't…you can't leave yet,” the strawberry blonde said with labored breath, phantom tears streaming down her ghostly pale face.

The brunette lying on the sidewalk turned upwards to the blonde ghost and grinned. “Fuck you. Just fuck you,” she giggled.

“Why…why would you say that?” Chandler asked quietly, almost shocked.

“You know, I really thought you'd forgiven me. You were gonna let me stop feeling guilty, for Heather’s sake. And then you show up in my lawn! And at the prom! And now here outside the prom, where I was perfectly happy to die,” Veronica said, smiling deliriously up at the stars.

Chandler was taken aback, but didn't have much time to think before McNamara rushed over to Veronica, crossing through the ghost Heather, causing her to disappear from Veronica’s vision.

“Hey! Hey, Ronnie, are you okay? What…what happened?” McNamara asked, shaking as she grabbed her girlfriend’s wrist, checking for a regular pulse.

“I…I'm fine. Yeah. I'm fine. As fine as I've been since I killed Chandler. I was pretty close to death myself before you saved me,” Veronica answered, deadpan.

Heather was speechless, just as Chandler had been. “Veronica…you're not okay. You're not fine, okay? I'm going to take you to the psych ward now, okay? I can't- I can't lose anyone else. Can you just hang on until I get you there?” she implored.

Veronica snorted. “I'm not going to the psych ward. I'm going to…to prom! We're at the prom. Let's go-” she started, but was cut of by her girlfriend heaving her upwards and beginning to drag her towards her car.

“No. You're giving me your keys and I'm taking you to the hospital. We’ll get a rain check on the prom,” Heather said, guiding a now accepting and pliable Veronica towards safety.

“But…but…” Veronica sputtered, but quickly gave up fighting.

The girls reached Veronica’s station wagon in relative silence. Once Heather made sure the hysterical brunette was safe in the passenger seat, she held out her hand.

“Keys,” she demanded simply.

Veronica sighed. “Fine. Just promise you won't call my parents about this,” she said as she fished her keys out of her clutch purse and placed them into Heather’s hand.

“Promise,” Heather said, lying through her teeth as she gently shut Veronica’s door and began to make her way around the car. She'd been extremely calm and collected through this whole ten minute ordeal, but she was about to her breaking point. She was almost there, but she had to hang on. Just had to hang on until she made sure Veronica was safe. Then she could fall apart herself. She took a deep breath and swung into the car. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of my obligations to school are over as of this weekend, so I should be updating this again pretty soon!! At least, sooner than the last time. As always, leave comments and critiscms below, this was a tone shift for this fic so let me know how you feel about it. Thanks as always for the support <3


	5. When the Morning Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...........it's been a while, and for that I apologize. I have trouble following big projects through, usually because by the time I'm about halfway through, I hate the first chapters and am unmotivated to finish it. I tried writing this chapter so, so many times, but it was so difficult because for a while, I hated the second and third chapters and the edgy turn I took in the fourth. I really can't describe the resentment an author feels for their past work, but I'm sure the rest of you writers can relate. with this chapter, I'm hoping to provide some closure for the story, but also I have an idea for an epilogue of sorts, so that may happen sometime, but I can feel good regardless knowing that I finally saw a multi-chapter project through all the way to the end. so, without further ado, I hope you enjoy this little wrap up! thanks for sticking with the story through all the long breaks. <3

Heather sat in the waiting room, swinging her legs back and forth, back and forth. She’d made it to the hospital, called Veronica’s parents, checked her into the ER, and staved off a panic attack until after accomplishing all of these goals. She had no idea how she was still even vaguely coherent. She also had no idea how Veronica was. She had no idea how much longer she'd be able to wait before seeing her again.

“Heather? Is there a Heather here?” the desk clerk called out suddenly.

Heather shot up, snapping out of her daze. “Here! Here, I'm…I'm here,” she called back and ran up to the counter.

“Your friend Veronica’s evaluation has finished, they're doing few more physical tests, but she asked to see you. She's in room 104, do you need someone to walk you there?” the clerk asked.

Tears spilled over down her cheeks. “Yes please,” she choked out.

The clerk smiled sympathetically and buzzed for a nurse to come out and walk her to Veronica. The nurse came, and Heather couldn't see clearly for the entire journey to Veronica, her vision completely clouded with tears. The tide didn't subside until she saw her beautiful girlfriend, sitting upright on the stark white hospital bed, propped against the pillows at the head.

“Hey,” Veronica croaked.

“Ronnie!” Heather breathed, diving towards her.

She settled down on the bed and wrapped her arms tightly around Veronica, trying to take deep breaths and center herself.

“I- I can explain…” the brunette started softly, returning the embrace.

“Ms. Sawyer, we’re going to move you to the psychiatric ward and keep you at least for the night, do you want us to contact your parents?” a doctor interrupted.

“Yes. I can give you their numbers-” Veronica offered.

“They're on her sign-in sheet. Sorry for making that choice for you Ronnie…” Heather interrupted.

The doctor nodded and left the room, beckoning for the nurse there to follow him.

“No, it's fine. It's fine. I know you're looking out for me. I…I'd probably be dead without you,” Veronica said after the medical personnel had left, stroking her girlfriend’s hair.

“What…what happened at the dance? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to-”

“I saw Chandler. I've been seeing Chandler ever since her death. I don't know if it's some fucked up figment of my imagination or if it's real, but…it's there. She feels real. I saw her in the bathroom and in the backyard and then at prom, and…I just couldn't take it. Something snapped. I don't deserve to live,” Veronica explained, tearing up.

“Oh, Ronnie…” Heather trailed off, tightening her embrace and vainly attempting to stave off her own tears.

“I know what you're going to say. It's not my fault. I shouldn't feel guilty. Heather is probably just a delusion. But…I just…I just wanted to die! In that moment, I just wanted it all to go away,” the brunette elaborated, barely able to breathe through the sobs wracking her body.

“Ronnie, Ronnie, shhhh, it's okay,” her girlfriend attempted to calm her down, mostly only to make sure she could take in air. She sat up slightly and moved to rub Veronica’s shoulders, continuing to whisper soothingly into her ear.

“I just want it all to stop,” Veronica whispered eventually once her sobbing subsided.

“It will, I promise. I'll help you. We’ll all help you, Betty, Martha, your parents…we’re going to get you through this,” Heather said desperately.

Veronica attempted a weak smile. “Thanks. I love you,” she said simply.

“I love you too, Ronnie. I want to help you get better, if you'll let me. I was where you are once, and do you know who helped me? Do you know who saved me?” the blonde asked.

“Who?” her girlfriend asked innocently, tilting her head.

Heather giggled. “You, silly! You followed me into the bathroom, you stayed with me afterward, you made sure I got the help I needed. You saved me, okay?” she said, lacing her fingers with Veronica’s.

Veronica sniffled. “I know. I…I had to. I wanted to.”

She fell silent, staring off in front of her contemplatively.

“Ronnie?” Heather piped up.

“Yes?” she replied.

“Are you mad at me?” the blonde girl asked breathlessly, nervously.

“For what?” Veronica asked in return, bewildered.

“For saving you,” Heather squeaked out.

Veronica fell silent again.

"No. I realized I wanted to live when…when the car was about to hit me, and I saw you. You were the one thing that made me want to stay,” she responded tearfully.

Heather bit her lip and embraced Veronica again. “Okay. I'm glad you aren't mad,” she said quietly.

“I could never be mad at you,” her girlfriend replied, resting her head on top of Heather’s.

The two girls sat in silence for several moments, breathing, feeling, holding each other. Veronica was trying to block out everything she could, block out the thought of Chandler, her guilt, now not only for taking the lives of others but also attempting to take her own. Heather was desperately doing all she could to root her girlfriend back in the real world. She had to root her back in. She couldn't handle losing anyone else-

“Veronica? We’ll be moving you to the inpatient ward now in an ambulance if that's alright, your parents will meet you there,” the doctor said suddenly, bursting into the room.

“Can I come?” Heather asked softly.

“Yes, of course," the doctor nodded.

“My parents can give you a ride home from there, if you want,” Veronica offered.

Heather simply nodded as she slipped off the bed and helped Veronica up. As she stood up, the brunette threw her arms around her girlfriend, embracing her the tightest she had yet.

“What-”

“I realized I haven't said thank you yet. Thank you,” Veronica said, a fresh wave of tears streaming down her face. 

Heather hugged back, smiling for the first time in several hours. She couldn't explain why, but something told her in that moment that Veronica was going to be alright. Everything was going to be alright.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, I hope you enjoyed, and leave any thoughts and opinions below!! epilogue might be coming in a little bit, but we'll see?? I won't make any promises just in case lmao, but regardless, I can't wait to hear from you all!! <3


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